Author: Joules Mer
Author's e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
Author's URL: http://jmenterprise.popullus.net
Date: Posted to EntSTSlash 03/20/2004
Archive: Permission to archive granted to EntSTCommunity and BLTS. All others
Fandom: Star Trek Enterprise
Summary: Just a short bit of silliness.
Disclaimer: Enterprise is the property of Paramount. No profit was, or will
be, made by this story.
A/N: Written for a lark during the men's epee world cup.
"Here, I'll hold it and you step through it. No, no,
other way around. It ties up at the back." Malcolm tied the white
tapes in a firm bow. "Too tight? Good." He grabbed the other
jacket and performed the same operation on himself, tying a bow at his side with
practised ease. "Now, you hold it like this, right, not too tight though."
He picked up his own blade and demonstrated, "It's a foil, a thrusting weapon.
Essentially, you're trying to stab me. Not only does slashing not count
for points, but it's bad form, so don't do it. The right of way rule is
a bit tricky so I'll just say that if I'm straightening my arm on the attack you
can't just stab me, you have to parry first. Target is torso and groin."
"Groin!" There was shock and just the tiniest bit of
fear in the indignant tone.
"Yes, groin. Now put your mask on and get in the stance
I showed you." Malcolm assumed an en garde stance which Trip attempted to
mimic. "Move your elbow towards me a bit, and move your arm to the right
so your back isn't exposed. Good. Now try a lunge."
There was another clashing noise, but Jon's head didn't waver
from the padd he was watching. "Miss again?"
"Yeah." Travis panted slightly from the stationary bicycle
next to the captain's, "Malcolm parried and then stabbed Trip in the chest."
There was another scraping clashing noise, "Same thing again." Travis watched
the men at the far end of the gym for a moment longer before he commented, "I
was quite surprised when Rostov found that gear in a cargo bay."
"Admiral Anderson's doing."
"He was a fencer, used to talk about it all the time.
He'd always boasted that no expense was spared outfitting Enterprise. I
think now I believe him."
There was another scrape and Travis winced, "I think Trip is
getting frustrated, he's getting really sloppy."
"Has he hit Malcolm yet?"
Jon chucked as best as he could while pedalling, "I guess Malcolm's
little 'I was in the fencing club for a bit at university' was an understatement
Travis just shook his head as Malcolm got another touch, "I
don't know, sir, he does pick up anything to do with weapons remarkably quickly."
A sudden cry and the clatter of a dropped foil had Jon looking
to see the cause of the disturbance. Malcolm's foil and mask were on the
ground and he was doubled over, staggering slightly. As Jon watched, Trip
pulled of his mask, the look of horror on the other man's face convincing him
something was truly wrong.
He leapt off the bike and hurried over to the fencers, Travis
following suit. "Malcolm! Are you okay?" Malcolm's face was
scrunched into a pained grimace and he didn't answer his captain's query.
Since there didn't appear to be any blood marring the white jacket Jon turned
his attention back to the man who was likely the guilty party. "Trip!
Trip's face was a study in horror and no small amount of fear,
"I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to do that, I swear. It was an accident."
Frustrated and worried Jon grabbed Malcolm by the elbow.
"Lieutenant! Are you alright or do you need me to get Phlox?"
Malcolm straightened slightly and looked up at his captain
with a red face, "I'm fine, sir. I always wanted to be castrated."
There was a stunned moment of silence which was finally broken
by an uncontrollable bark of laughter from Travis. It was infectious and
soon both Jon and Travis were howling away while Malcolm glared at them from where
he was leaning against a wall. Trip no longer looked horrified. Instead,
he'd taken on the grim visage of a man whose partner wasn't about to have sex
with him for quite some time.