Title: Aliens do it Too
Author: Joules Mer
Author's e-mail: email@example.com
Author's URL: http://jmenterprise.popullus.net
Date: Posted to EntSTSlash February 9, 2005.
Archive: Everyone else ask first.
Fandom: Star Trek Enterprise
Series: Fifth in the Spam Series
Disclaimer: Enterprise is the property of Paramount. No profit
has been, or will be, made by this story.
A/N: Got a message asking for
some alien spam...
As the items in his inbox scrolled by Malcolm paused at
a message that was flagged to indicate it had gone through the UT system.
His brow furrowed. A message that hadn't been in English? Unable
to stop himself, he opened it and began to read: "Greetings Human!"
His eyes widened by a degree. He'd never seen that particular salutation
before. "To welcome you to a new frontier we have a gift for you!"
You didn't have to be "a paranoid security nut," as Trip had so eloquently
called him once, to be wary of something like that. "We're offering
you five FREE playing hours when you pay for two at Grem's House of Luck!"
What was their preoccupation with exclamation marks anyway? "Grem's
House of Luck has over 1,000 Dabo tables and games from over 30 different
worlds! Several currencies accepted (for a small exchange fee) and
all payouts are in LATINUM!" Malcolm had never liked gambling, he preferred
to deal in certainties. "Grem's House of Luck..." Malcolm wondered
what an alien calling itself Grem could look like. "...the third planet
in the Dalgo system. From orbit contact 127.32.01. Reply today
for directions to our fine establishment!" Malcolm couldn't recall
ever hearing of the Dalgo system before. "Beginners most welcome!"
Of course they were.
Malcolm took a sip of his tea and stretched his fingers.
If the aliens at Grem's House of Luck thought they were going to fleece him
they had another thing coming. "Dear Grem's House of Luck. As
a professional gambler you're just what I've been looking for! The
only way I'm allowed into a casino on my home world is in the capacity of
government approved inspector (to ensure that the games are being operated
fairly) and I truly miss the excitement. Not that gambling on Earth
is very exciting anymore. When you have the amount of experience I
do all the games seem so simple. Please send me directions to your
establishment as soon as you can. I'm always looking for a new challenge,
provided you can afford to have me stop by. I'm afraid the last casino
I visited, The Rikki Rix on Risa, is no longer in operation." Malcolm
smirked as he sent the message. He wondered if they'd even reply.