Title: Well Matched

Author: Joules Mer

Author's e-mail: julia_ocean_child@yahoo.co.uk

Author's URL: http://jmenterprise.popullus.net

Date: Posted to EntSTSlash February 7, 2005.

Archive: Everyone else ask first.

Fandom: Star Trek Enterprise

Category: Slash

Rating: G

Pairing: Tu/R


Series:  Fourth in the Spam Series

Beta: None


Disclaimer: Enterprise is the property of Paramount.  No profit has been, or will be, made by this story.  


       Malcolm rolled over, squirming out from under the weight that was pinning him down.  Trip didn't stir and his breathing stayed deep and even.  Malcolm peered at the chronometer on the shelf.  23:49.  He was wide awake, and Trip was fast asleep.  He briefly considered waking his lover, but Trip had been pulling double shifts lately and desperately needed his sleep.

    Malcolm could tell he was too wound up to go to sleep so he carefully extracted himself from the blankets and padded over to the desk.  He turned the screen lighting down and called up his recent messages, scrolling until he found what he was looking for: "Dear Sir."  Never a good start.  "Today is your lucky day."  Too bad it was mostly over.  If he'd known he'd have bought a lottery ticket.  MatchPro has received an influx of female clients, and we're recruiting eligible young men."  He wasn't so sure he fit their definition of eligible.  "That means that if you satisfy our requirements you will be matched with the girl of your dreams absolutely free!"  Just what he'd always wanted.  "Simply answer the attached questions..."  Malcolm skimmed them quickly.  "...and you'll be on your way.  MatchPro uses the newest personality and lifestyle matching software available."  New software was always the most bug ridden.  "Our matching software isn't just good, it's 100% uninfallable!"  He was reasonably sure that didn't mean what they thought it meant.  "Send in your reply today and if you're what we're looking for you could be with a beautiful woman within a month."  Malcolm smirked.  Then he noticed the fine print: "Those wholly human only, please."  Were they even allowed to say that these days?

    He sat back in his chair for a few seconds before starting to type.  "Dear MatchPro, I'd agree that this is my lucky day as I've been looking for a special someone for quite some time.  "I'm 171..."  He erased that and wrote, "I'm 185 cm tall with dark hair and grey eyes.  In my seven years with Starfleet I have steadily climbed the ranks and am now a lieutenant in charge of my own department.  I have one sister who is a lawyer and come from a family with a history of distinguished careers in the Royal Navy.  I have a bachelors degree in engineering from MIT and an MPhil specializing in phase weapon design from Oxford."

    One corner of his lip curled up as he moved in for the kill.  "My interests include guns, knives, pistols, and heavy weaponry.  I work in deep space, but make a point of returning to Earth once every five years or so.  My hobbies include hand-to-hand combat, target practise with both phase pistols and pulse rifles, and working in the armoury.  I do not enjoy cooking or movies that don't include explosions.  I'm allergic to most pet dander, but dislike pets in general anyway.  And I'm gay and do not appreciate receiving these offers."  With a victorious flourish he punched the send button.