Hallowe'en silliness I was too intoxicated to write on Hallowe'en...  Wrote it during chat tonight so I'm sorry for any errors.

Title: Tricks and Treats
Author: Joules Mer
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: T/R
Disclaimer: Enterprise is the property of Paramount.  No profit was made, no copyright infringement is intended.
Archive: Yes to EntSTCommunity, Tim Ruben and BLTS.
Beta:  None, and written during chat so there are bound to be errors.  Sorry for them.

Tricks and Treats

    Malcolm strode down the corridor, side stepping an Ensign with a pair of what looked like cat ears.  A discrete backwards glance proved that she did, indeed, have a tail as well.  He shook his head in confusion at commercialized North American holidays and carried on towards his destination.

    He rounded a corner and was confronted by a sight that made him stop dead in his tracks.  Jeans.  Very, very tight jeans.  Very, very tight jeans which flared out below the knee.  He felt himself begin to salivate as he followed the jeans upwards to a loose shirt open just far enough at the top to expose a few curls of chest hair.  A medallion of some sort was hanging on his chest and the outfit was completed by a pair of very small, round, sunglasses.

    "Hey Malcolm!"  

    The cheerful call jolted him back to the present and he forced himself to smile as calmly as possible as his friend ambled up to him.  Trip was decked out for Hallowe'en, his harmonica proudly sticking out of the breast pocket of his shirt and a coloured headband tied around his head.  "Peace, Mal.  What's up?"  He gave Malcolm a quick once over, "Where's your costume?"

    Malcolm couldn't help but snort, "Costume?  You can't be serious."

    Trip looked at him aghast, "Malcolm, it's Hallowe'en.  It's the one day you can turn up for work in costume.  Heck, the captain practically expects you to be in costume."

    Malcolm sniffed, "We're also Starfleet officers.  What happens if we have to make first contact?"

    "We either explain it's a festival or get changed very quickly.  No harm done."  Trip turned and they both walked towards the bridge together.  "It's fun, Malcolm.  That's the point."

    The turbolift doors opened onto the bridge and Malcolm surveyed the scene in front of him.  Travis appeared to be a cowboy, while Hoshi was sporting an interesting pair of devil horns.  The captain, while still in uniform, was wearing an easily removable mask.  Only T'Pol was in her usual clothing.  The drab Vulcan garb a sharp contrast to the rest of the bridge crew.

    "No costume, Malcolm?"

    Malcolm's gaze snapped back to the captain, "I'm afraid Hallowe'en was not a part of my childhood, sir, my father preferred Guy Fawkes Day.  It's not really something I considered getting ready for."

    Jon nodded in acknowledgement of Malcolm's point, "Sure, Malcolm.  Maybe next year."

    Malcolm made his way to his station, "Perhaps."

    "What was the problem?"  Malcolm was thankful when Trip spoke up, immediately becoming the centre of attention.

    "Beta shift was having trouble running scans from that console."  T'Pol indicated the panel beside Malcolm's station and Trip ambled over and began to examine it.  

    Malcolm immersed himself in tactical data, loosing track of time until he heard a voice next to him proclaim, "I found the problem.  I'm gonna have ta replace these relays."  Malcolm turned his head to look and just about fainted dead away.  He'd found himself staring directly at the denim covered ass of Trip Tucker who was kneeling on the ground with his upper body wedged partially underneath the console.  Malcolm's eyes widened and he whipped his eyes back to his own readouts.  "I'll go get my tools, this will take a while."  Trip climbed to his feet and headed to the turbolift.  "Back in a minute."  Malcolm tried to will himself to calm down.


    It had been the longest shift in the history of his career.  Or at least, it had seemed like it.  Every time Trip moved he'd caught Malcolm's eye.  The too tight jeans moulding themselves perfectly to his shapely ass.  Malcolm didn't think he'd actually managed to get any work done at all.  The distraction had been too great.  After hours of having Trip's ass wagging right beside him he was amazed he'd made it to the turbolift without embarrassing himself on the way.  

    Malcolm deftly tied the bandana firmly about his head and stepped back to survey his handiwork in the mirror.  All in all, he liked what he saw.  He left his quarters and took off purposefully across E deck, ignoring the turning heads and hushed comments that followed him.  He stopped in front of a door and firmly pressed the chime.

    Trip's reading was interrupted by the chime of his door.  He dropped the padd on his desk and walked over to the door, pressing the button to open it.  He barely had time to register the disguised figure in front of him before he was shoved unceremoniously back into the room.  He opened his mouth to say something, but was stunned into silence when a cloth was wrapped over his eyes, effectively blindfolding him.  He went to reach for his eyes, only to find both of his hands firmly held down.  He was about to cry out when he felt a puff of breath on his neck and heard a familiar accent in his ear.  "Let's see if I can get this right."  There was a short pause before the voice continued, "Trick, " he felt a gentle tug on the blindfold and realized that his visitor must have tugged on it with his teeth, "or treat."  This statement was followed by the sensation of a tongue tracing his jawline.  Trip shivered slightly, from the sensation on his face and the tone of the other man's voice.  "Smell my feet.  What a brilliant idea, do excuse me while I make myself  more comfortable."  He sensed movement and then heard two thunks like objects dropping onto the floor.  Then the voice was back whispering in his ear, "Give me something..."  he felt the person in front of him shift slightly, "good to eat."  All at once his lips were captured in a sensuous kiss.  Trip inadvertently groaned deep in his throat and deepened the kiss.  His hands were freed and he reached around and ran them up and down the back of the man in front of him.  They finally had to come up for breath and as they pulled apart Trip felt a gentle tug on his blindfold before it fell away.  He blinked in the sudden light and then found himself staring into a pair of utterly gorgeous eyes.  

    "Malcolm?"  The man in question's face quirked into a half smile at the look on Trip's face.  Trip felt his confusion mount as he took in Reed's appearance.  A striped shirt, shorts, bandana, fake scar and, Trip peered more closely, it really was a sword dangling from Malcolm's belt.  "A pirate?"

    Still smiling Malcolm nodded, "All the better to plunder you as."

    Trip's brow furrowed in confusion, "But I thought..."

    Malcolm silenced him with a quick kiss, "Let's just say, " his hand slipped down and cupped Trip's denim covered ass, "you convinced me of the merits of Hallowe'en."