Title: A Waking Dream

Author: Joules Mer

Author's e-mail: julia_ocean_child@yahoo.co.uk

Author's URL: http://jmenterprise.popullus.net

Date: Nov. 21, 2003

Archive: Permission to archive granted to EntSTCommunity and BLTS.

Fandom: Star Trek Enterprise

Category: Slash

Rating: G

Pairing: R/Sim, T/R

Summary: I remember the hurt look on his face and I don't know whether to laugh at the absurdity of the situation or cry because he doesn't love me.  He loves my ghost.

Series:  Ghosts and Lovers (sequel to You, Me, and Your Doppelganger Makes Three)

Beta: None

Spoilers: Similitude (but oh so AU)

Disclaimer: Enterprise is the property of Paramount.  No profit was made, no copyright infringement is intended

Author's notes:  There was going to be an immediate, happy sequel...then Trip told me how he really felt.





    Sometimes I feel like I'm sleepwalking, and I don't know if I'll ever wake up.  I once said that a coma sounded kinda nice, but now I know that it's not something I ever want to repeat.

    I had to go to the funeral of someone I'd never met, but felt that I knew.  The man who gave his life for me.  I can't begin to explain to anyone how strange it feels to look upon what appears to be your own body.  I was keeping myself together pretty well, then I looked sideways.  Slowly rolling down a high cheekbone of our stoic armoury officer was a single tear.  I watched in abject fascination as he firmly blinked his watering eyes and tried to compose himself.  A second later he was nothing but the image of propriety, but I'd seen the crack in the mask.

    I was walking down the corridor late last night.  I couldn't sleep, my circadian rhythms are all out of whack these days, so I decided to stop by the observation lounge.  When the door opened I found a solitary figure sitting on the furthest couch from the door.  I walked over quietly, but was surprised that Malcolm didn't seem to notice my presence.  He's normally so attuned to things like that.

    When I touched his shoulder he seemed to break out of whatever trace he'd been in.  I quipped something nonsensical and flopped down next to him, ready for a friendly chat.  Imagine my surprise when the epitome of antiquated fraternization regs himself leaned over and kissed me.  I gasped or gulped or something, I was so surprised.  This was definitely the last thing I'd expected.  He broke the kiss and pulled back slightly, just far enough that I could see the look on his face.  "Oh Malcolm."  The words were just an involuntary outcry, I don't know what I meant by them even now.  I pulled back so that I could get a good look at Malcolm and he must have seen something in my face that he didn't like because he was up and out of the door in a flash.  I remember the hurt look on his face and I don't know whether to laugh at the absurdity of the situation or cry because he doesn't love me.  He loves my ghost.